The next few post are not the happiest, most uplifting thing you will probably read, but to tell it any other way would not be the truth. I'm being honest with myself and what I felt at the time. It's not the worst thing that could happen, I'm well aware of that.This is just was beginning of a hard struggle for me and God dealing with me in a way that most of my comforts were taken away. I believe that God allows us to go through struggles in this life for many reasons. Sometimes to learn a lesson, sometimes it may be to get us away from something that isn't best for us, or maybe it's simply to remind us that we are not home yet, and this world will never satisfy our yearning and need to be with our father in heaven.
Now back to the story...
One of my "jobs" as an army wife is to find housing for the next place that the army decides we are going. This my friends is not an easy task when you are hundreds of miles away. All you have is a budget and phone number, and you can only hope that during a temporary move you will be able to find an apartment complex willing to lease to you for three short months (Living on base was not an option for us.) It was four weeks before the move and I was completely lost. Every apartment within a 20 min radius to Ft.Lee didn't offer short term leases. This was my first time planning a "across states" move and I would often times find myself so overwhelmed. I would set in bed and cry after being turned down from apartment after apartment complex. I even tried reaching out to different churches in the community with no response each time. It can't be this hard...can it? I mean, isn't the military suppose to help? We never were offered any help as far as the military goes and at that time I had no way of finding out who could help! I had never heard of a sponsor before, which most enlisted ( for those of you non-military people means they chose to go through basic training and start off as an E-1) they are assigned. Sponsors help with trying to make your move as smooth as possible by helping you with any questions and finding a place to stay. As an officer Thomas was not assigned to one, or at least no one mentioned it to us. we were left to figure things out ourselves, which I hope to change one day! We both felt alone. Thrown to this new world with no information. To say this made me frustrated would be an understatement.
Then, the sickness of pregnancy came over me like the black plague! Two weeks before our move and no place to live in VA yet and I was confined to my bed. I couldn't eat, drink or think about a bad smell without upchucking my guts (sorry for the graphic nature!) My sister had a cat, and every time I walked out of the bedroom door I smelled that cat in new ways I never thought I could. In fact, I could smell EVERYTHING! I stayed locked up in my room for two weeks, only coming out to vomit, use the restroom, maybe shower if I had the strength, and to go to work (which was pretty much torture, but I had just been given a promotion and I couldn't not go in because often I would be the only manager.) I mean, how could such a bundle of cells make one so ill?! I would lay in bed and cry, I have never been sick for weeks before and it was getting to me emotionally. During this time I started feeling really sorry for people with terminal illnesses. I knew my pain would end, but that there are countless people in this world that live in pain everyday that have no end in sight...Anyways, that's another topic. Because of the sickness I was not able to continue my search for an apt. and Thomas had to take that job over, while at Ft.knox. I felt horrible about that, but nothing but sleep was on my mind. Call me a baby if you want, but pregnancy didn't agree with me at that time!
Thomas came to the rescue and found a place for us to stay...temporary housing. basically we would pay them thousands(yes that's plural) a month and they would provide us with an apt. loft...which means no bedroom doors, it's just one big open room for an apartment. They furnished it for us because we had no furniture...I sold it all when I moved in with my sister (BIG MISTAKE). Now, for those of you who don't know the military works on a "we'll pay ya back" system, so first months rent and cost to move..yep, that right, all out of pocket! Which means we had to save all we could. The Army would eventually pay us back..just on their time of course, which is usually 8-10 weeks later....Lovely right? :)
So the time had come! Moving day...and hurricane Irene was all over the news! In fact, we were scheduled to get to Petersburg right as the storm was to arrive! yay! Everything I owned fit into my nice new car (which we could finally afford, thank you Army!) Thomas took his stuff in his truck (which was way more stuff then I had!) I said my good byes to friends and family and we were off on our first big adventure!!! I was also ready for this. :)
The trip through KY and into VA was pretty uneventful. My doctor had given me some medicine to help with the nausea, and it was working! Around 6 pm we got to Richmond, VA. This is where the storm begins! The rain was beating so hard I couldn't see the driver in front of me, I knew Thomas was a few vehicles ahead of me but he was totally out of my field of view. I've never had to worry about hurricanes growing up in KY. So my welcome to Virginia and my new home was a lovely event named Irene! The winds were blowing so hard I thought I was going to get thrown off the road. I had the radio on and the new caster was urging people to stay off the road. Thomas and I were one of the few people on the road and I was able to catch up to his tail lights. I followed them though I could barley see. Okay...Looking back, should we have pulled over? probably! but we were really close to "home" and after 13 hours of driving we were ready to be there. Not only that, but this was not a storm that was going to pass through, it was going to be there way into the night, we didn't have much choice but to trek on! So I trusted the faded red lights ahead of me and we slowly made our way to the apartment.
We didn't blow away! We walked up to the apartment door and unlocked it. At first sight, it was nice. Then I saw the wall that had a shower of water streaming down from the ceiling...people, Irene had even followed us home, we had a leak! Not a little leak, the entire wall looked like a flowing water fall. So to make a long story short I called maintenance, they brought some sheets up and said it would have to wait until the hurricane was over. They also told us to prepare for a power outage. hmm, I couldn't help but think...is this a preloom of whats to come here in Virginia?...and in a way, looking back, I would have to say....yes.
The next part of my story is the hardest to write for me. That will be tomorrow, I've ran out of time today. Thanks for reading, and I hope you continue with my story.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Oh, Baby!
This is still Summer 2011, towards the end. Another somewhat brief summary just to catch up!
While at Jenni's house one night she got the opportunity to Skype with her husband. My good friend Sarah and I left the room so they could have some "alone time." While we were sitting in the kitchen I heard Jenni start to cry. It was a quiet cry, nothing dramatic, you could tell she was trying to hold her composure. As I listened to the weeps my heart was breaking for her. I couldn't imagine being pregnant and having my husband miss almost all of the pregnancy; the joys and woes that come along with the blessing. (He was going to be able to make the birth thankfully!) It made my situation of only having Thomas gone three months seem like a walk in the park. At that moment as I listened to her tears my gears started turning. We had no idea when Thomas would get deployed, but he still had months of training ahead in which a deployment would not be a threat, afterwards, we would go to Ft.Carson, Co. There was little to no change that he would get deployed so soon after going to his unit. So this would be the perfect time! Not only that, but I was eager to start my career as well, this baby would be due in early 2012 and I could be to work in Colorado by the end of the summer, sounded great to me! My biggest fear was for him to miss the pregnancy and birth. Me, being the planner that I am would try to avoid that pain at all cost....
As you might remember Thomas was a Ft. Knox at this time. I would make weekly or bi-weekly trips to see him. We would stay in a Econo Lodge close to base because he couldn't go far. That was our normal, living in separate spaces, but being able to come together every once in awhile. As we set up in bed watching t.v and eating Pizza Hut (our favorite hotel meal) I brought up the notion that I was ready to start having children. He looked at me with questioning eyes. He had talked about children, but I usually dismissed the idea because we both knew it wasn't the right time. "Why now?" he questioned me. Now, this didn't come to that much of a shock to him, we had been discussing the idea for weeks on the phone, but neither one of us seemed certain of the idea. I explained my reasoning and we discussed back and forth about the pro's and the con's. Thomas stopped me after awhile and told me that we just needed to pray about it. I agreed. So he got down on his knees, offered me to join him and there on that old hotel room floor we prayed for God's wisdom and guidance and not our will be done, but His. We had been through enough the past few years to know that we wanted God's timing...not ours!!
About three weeks later I had missed a certain monthly visitor, along with that came a few other uncomfortable symptoms. Pregnancy test after pregnancy test were negative! I still was feeling ill so I decided to call my doctor and get a blood test. Blood test are very accurate so I knew for sure this would give me my answer. Negative. The nurse walked out and told me, I was okay with this. I knew we had prayed and I had full confidence that God had it under control. So I walked out of the doctors office thinking of all the fun Thomas and I would have in Colorado! Skiing, biking, hiking, camping, all the fun things I wouldn't be able to do while pregnant anyways! Another week past...this made 5! My symptoms were staying and still no visit from the menstrual fairy! I brushed it off thinking it was impossible to be pregnant I had a blood test to prove it! As I was walking in Wal-Mart I walked passed the lovely section that everyone speeds through without even looking at, so not to seem suspicious! The pregnancy test section! I knew it was crazy, but I found the cheapest one there was and stuffed it under a shirt I was going to purchase. Hey, even when your married you don't want people knowing your business! What if I ran into someone I knew??
Thomas happened to be in that weekend for a break. I can't remember if I even told him about the pregnancy test I had purchased...I don't think I did. I ran into the bathroom and took the test completely expecting to see another negative. I mean, why would it be anything but negative? It didn't take long at all to see two pink lines appear...Positive.
I stood there in utter shock. It couldn't be. How did the blood test miss that? It would have been able to tell me at 3-4 weeks if I was pregnant. In fact, I knew I HAD to be pregnant at that time already. It was a feeling like I had never felt before, the first moment you realize that you are carrying another soul and that they would call you mom...After the shock wore off on my face, there was a smile that was bigger than the Grand Cannon. I was so excited that we had been blessed with this pregnancy!
I had thought of many times growing up how I would tell my husband I was pregnant for the first time. visions of buying little onesies and wrapping them to open. Or maybe even wrapping the pregnancy test, or have a stork come to the door! NO, all of that was thrown out the window. I ran into the bedroom and still in a little shock myself, made the announcement! After a few..."what?" and "but the blood test..." questions, he was just as thrilled as I was. I went to the doctor and they did another test...this time positive! An ultrasound would show that I was 6 weeks along. :) This was the start of a new era in our marriage, and I'm not sure we were prepared for the weeks and months to come...We knew things were going to get harder, and expected that, but God was about to start taking us through a storm...literally and figuratively, that we were not expecting. He was to report to Ft. Lee, Virginia in four weeks for three more months of training. This time, I would go with him. We would move to Virginia on Aug. 27,2011 the day Hurricane Irene was scheduled to hit the coast of Virginia and cause massive destruction for many miles inland.
Up next: The woes of pregnancy and a hurricane!
While at Jenni's house one night she got the opportunity to Skype with her husband. My good friend Sarah and I left the room so they could have some "alone time." While we were sitting in the kitchen I heard Jenni start to cry. It was a quiet cry, nothing dramatic, you could tell she was trying to hold her composure. As I listened to the weeps my heart was breaking for her. I couldn't imagine being pregnant and having my husband miss almost all of the pregnancy; the joys and woes that come along with the blessing. (He was going to be able to make the birth thankfully!) It made my situation of only having Thomas gone three months seem like a walk in the park. At that moment as I listened to her tears my gears started turning. We had no idea when Thomas would get deployed, but he still had months of training ahead in which a deployment would not be a threat, afterwards, we would go to Ft.Carson, Co. There was little to no change that he would get deployed so soon after going to his unit. So this would be the perfect time! Not only that, but I was eager to start my career as well, this baby would be due in early 2012 and I could be to work in Colorado by the end of the summer, sounded great to me! My biggest fear was for him to miss the pregnancy and birth. Me, being the planner that I am would try to avoid that pain at all cost....
As you might remember Thomas was a Ft. Knox at this time. I would make weekly or bi-weekly trips to see him. We would stay in a Econo Lodge close to base because he couldn't go far. That was our normal, living in separate spaces, but being able to come together every once in awhile. As we set up in bed watching t.v and eating Pizza Hut (our favorite hotel meal) I brought up the notion that I was ready to start having children. He looked at me with questioning eyes. He had talked about children, but I usually dismissed the idea because we both knew it wasn't the right time. "Why now?" he questioned me. Now, this didn't come to that much of a shock to him, we had been discussing the idea for weeks on the phone, but neither one of us seemed certain of the idea. I explained my reasoning and we discussed back and forth about the pro's and the con's. Thomas stopped me after awhile and told me that we just needed to pray about it. I agreed. So he got down on his knees, offered me to join him and there on that old hotel room floor we prayed for God's wisdom and guidance and not our will be done, but His. We had been through enough the past few years to know that we wanted God's timing...not ours!!
About three weeks later I had missed a certain monthly visitor, along with that came a few other uncomfortable symptoms. Pregnancy test after pregnancy test were negative! I still was feeling ill so I decided to call my doctor and get a blood test. Blood test are very accurate so I knew for sure this would give me my answer. Negative. The nurse walked out and told me, I was okay with this. I knew we had prayed and I had full confidence that God had it under control. So I walked out of the doctors office thinking of all the fun Thomas and I would have in Colorado! Skiing, biking, hiking, camping, all the fun things I wouldn't be able to do while pregnant anyways! Another week past...this made 5! My symptoms were staying and still no visit from the menstrual fairy! I brushed it off thinking it was impossible to be pregnant I had a blood test to prove it! As I was walking in Wal-Mart I walked passed the lovely section that everyone speeds through without even looking at, so not to seem suspicious! The pregnancy test section! I knew it was crazy, but I found the cheapest one there was and stuffed it under a shirt I was going to purchase. Hey, even when your married you don't want people knowing your business! What if I ran into someone I knew??
Thomas happened to be in that weekend for a break. I can't remember if I even told him about the pregnancy test I had purchased...I don't think I did. I ran into the bathroom and took the test completely expecting to see another negative. I mean, why would it be anything but negative? It didn't take long at all to see two pink lines appear...Positive.
I stood there in utter shock. It couldn't be. How did the blood test miss that? It would have been able to tell me at 3-4 weeks if I was pregnant. In fact, I knew I HAD to be pregnant at that time already. It was a feeling like I had never felt before, the first moment you realize that you are carrying another soul and that they would call you mom...After the shock wore off on my face, there was a smile that was bigger than the Grand Cannon. I was so excited that we had been blessed with this pregnancy!
I had thought of many times growing up how I would tell my husband I was pregnant for the first time. visions of buying little onesies and wrapping them to open. Or maybe even wrapping the pregnancy test, or have a stork come to the door! NO, all of that was thrown out the window. I ran into the bedroom and still in a little shock myself, made the announcement! After a few..."what?" and "but the blood test..." questions, he was just as thrilled as I was. I went to the doctor and they did another test...this time positive! An ultrasound would show that I was 6 weeks along. :) This was the start of a new era in our marriage, and I'm not sure we were prepared for the weeks and months to come...We knew things were going to get harder, and expected that, but God was about to start taking us through a storm...literally and figuratively, that we were not expecting. He was to report to Ft. Lee, Virginia in four weeks for three more months of training. This time, I would go with him. We would move to Virginia on Aug. 27,2011 the day Hurricane Irene was scheduled to hit the coast of Virginia and cause massive destruction for many miles inland.
Up next: The woes of pregnancy and a hurricane!
The Beginning
I feel as though a book would be more appropriate for all the details I would like to describe in this first blog, but for now I will give you a brief (very, very brief) summary of the past few months when my journey began. My later post will be in much more detail. Please bare with me as this is my first blog! please excuse the grammatical errors...I tried to remember my English courses, but I've never been great at writing stories, didn't think I would ever need to be. ;) Thanks for reading!
For those of you who know me well, or maybe even just follow me on Facebook you know that the past few years haven't exactly been a cake walk. I decided to take on radiography school which stretched my limits personally and academically, looking back it was such a priceless experience that helped me grow into the women I am today. I remember telling friends and family," it just can't get much worse then this!" Studying everyday, little sleep, constant scrutiny is enough to make anyone feel insane, but through the grace of God I did it! As I was traveling through my struggle in x-ray school God blessed me with my wonderful husband Thomas. How we managed to start a relationship,build it up and get married while both in college is still a mystery to me!
When I had met Thomas he had already committed his life (or at least the next 5 years) to the United States Army. In many ways I knew somewhat what I was getting into before I married him on that very hot June summer day in 2010. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I also knew I could handle it and wanted to take this journey with him. After only two weeks of marriage the Army would whisk my groom away to the other side of the country for 30 days of training, in which writing letters and a short phone call every two weeks would be how we started off our first year together. Not ideal of course, but like I said, I was prepared! In May 2011 I became an official "army wife. " As Thomas stood up in his neatly pressed uniform, (which cost us about four months of rent) I experienced the first emotion that most wives do...pride! He was commissioning as a second lieutenant and as he repeated his oath of office I remember thinking just how much these words, like our wedding vows, would change both of our lives as we knew it...for better or for worse.
Shortly after commissioning he was given a temporary assignment at Ft. Knox, Kentucky. As for me, I was left to move out of our cozy little apt and move in with my sister. I had been alone many times before due to his Army travels and I felt it would be better if I had someone to stay with during this three month period. During this time I met my now good friend, Jenni, who's husband was in Afghanistan. She was pregnant...very pregnant! We became really close and she was at my house almost every night. We would set in bed together and talk about our struggles with our husbands being gone and how much we miss them as we dipped into a bowl of popcorn...or maybe some brownies or cinnamon rolls. :) Now, we didn't just set around moping for our husbands, we both had jobs and kept very busy with other activities. Meanwhile at night, when most married couples may be discussing their day, preparing for bed, or arguing over who squeezed the tooth paste in the middle. Jenni would come over and we would give each other support that in a non military town like Owensboro, we desperately needed. God has given me many wonderful friends from all stages of life, and now He had blessed me with my first "military wife" friend...a necessity in my opinion for any military family or wife. She had also given me something else...baby fever!!!
I think I will stop here for now...this is where is gets more interesting and detailed ( not to detailed I promise!!) Next up...pregnancy and our first military move!
For those of you who know me well, or maybe even just follow me on Facebook you know that the past few years haven't exactly been a cake walk. I decided to take on radiography school which stretched my limits personally and academically, looking back it was such a priceless experience that helped me grow into the women I am today. I remember telling friends and family," it just can't get much worse then this!" Studying everyday, little sleep, constant scrutiny is enough to make anyone feel insane, but through the grace of God I did it! As I was traveling through my struggle in x-ray school God blessed me with my wonderful husband Thomas. How we managed to start a relationship,build it up and get married while both in college is still a mystery to me!
When I had met Thomas he had already committed his life (or at least the next 5 years) to the United States Army. In many ways I knew somewhat what I was getting into before I married him on that very hot June summer day in 2010. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I also knew I could handle it and wanted to take this journey with him. After only two weeks of marriage the Army would whisk my groom away to the other side of the country for 30 days of training, in which writing letters and a short phone call every two weeks would be how we started off our first year together. Not ideal of course, but like I said, I was prepared! In May 2011 I became an official "army wife. " As Thomas stood up in his neatly pressed uniform, (which cost us about four months of rent) I experienced the first emotion that most wives do...pride! He was commissioning as a second lieutenant and as he repeated his oath of office I remember thinking just how much these words, like our wedding vows, would change both of our lives as we knew it...for better or for worse.
Shortly after commissioning he was given a temporary assignment at Ft. Knox, Kentucky. As for me, I was left to move out of our cozy little apt and move in with my sister. I had been alone many times before due to his Army travels and I felt it would be better if I had someone to stay with during this three month period. During this time I met my now good friend, Jenni, who's husband was in Afghanistan. She was pregnant...very pregnant! We became really close and she was at my house almost every night. We would set in bed together and talk about our struggles with our husbands being gone and how much we miss them as we dipped into a bowl of popcorn...or maybe some brownies or cinnamon rolls. :) Now, we didn't just set around moping for our husbands, we both had jobs and kept very busy with other activities. Meanwhile at night, when most married couples may be discussing their day, preparing for bed, or arguing over who squeezed the tooth paste in the middle. Jenni would come over and we would give each other support that in a non military town like Owensboro, we desperately needed. God has given me many wonderful friends from all stages of life, and now He had blessed me with my first "military wife" friend...a necessity in my opinion for any military family or wife. She had also given me something else...baby fever!!!
I think I will stop here for now...this is where is gets more interesting and detailed ( not to detailed I promise!!) Next up...pregnancy and our first military move!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)